12/25/2003

We Wish You a Skunky Christmas

Number of degrees over the average temp. for this area on 12/24/03: 10 (Fahrenheit).

Number of hours after the usual time for their "last out" of the night that our dogs were, in fact, let out on 12/24/03: 1

Number of people in our household who believed skunks hibernate in winter: 4.

Number of the top ten results of a Google search "skunks hibernate" that corroborate this factoid: 4.

Number of the top ten results that state that skunks "are not true hibernators" and sometimes wake up in warmer weather: 6.

Number of skunks in this part of New England who concur with the Google results: at least 1.

Number of dogs skunked: 2.

Number of dogs who sprinted past the unwary homeowner and bolted upstairs and rolled in our bed: 1.

Average number of baths had by our dogs in a typical month: 2.

Actual number of baths had by our dogs in December: 8.

Actual number of baths had by our dogs in the past two days: 8.

Number of bottles of peroxide needed to deskunkify two dogs: 3.

Product voted "best stuff on earth" by yours truly: "Smells Begone."

December 25, 2003 in indices | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

06/07/2003

Titles in Search of Compositions

  • Angel with a Cellphone
  • The Charm Street B&B
  • The Clairvoyant's Only Child
  • The Doe's Heart
  • Thought Foxes
  • The Trouble in Belle Prairie

June 7, 2003 in indices, works-in-progress | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

05/02/2003

Don's Playlist: May

'don riffling record racks' © 1983 lgfDo you remember the first music you bought for yourself? My first vinyl purchases included George Harrison's All Things Must Pass and the cast recording of Jesus Christ Superstar.

Don's made it his mission of the past several months to reassemble his first dozen or so vinyl albums on CDs. This strut down memory avenue includes:

May 2, 2003 in indices, influences | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

04/25/2003

Desk Data: April

  • Number of desks in household, per capita: 1.5
  • Percentage of time individual household members work at a desk in own room: 10
  • Percentage of time household members work at desk in common area: 40
  • Percentage of time household members work on desk-work but not at a desk: 50
  • Inventory of items on the family desktops: desktop and laptop computers, printers, lamps, electric pencil sharpeners, shopping bags full of loose papers, a set of rapidograph pens, sets of colored pencils, set of vanity pencils that say "Hit Those Keys", assorted dirty dishes, CDs, mystery items buried under more paper, empty and half-empty cans/bottles of Diet Coke and spa water, completed manuscript-printouts bound with shoelaces, file folders, bound diaries, eccentric containers holding paper clips and sundries, totem animals and artifacts, books that aren't referenced, but stand watch over the desk owner's activities.
  • Frequency that desktops undergo clearage, per year: 7.4
  • Inventory of items conspicuously absent from family desktops: phones, wide open spaces, clocks, calendars, up-to-date address books, usable writing implements.
  • Percentage of family members who write a minimum of 1000 words a day: 100

April 25, 2003 in indices | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

03/29/2003

Cricket's Index: January

Cricket herself
I advocate making lists as one of the most effective blockbusting techniques in part because lists themselves can be so interesting. The monthly stats in Harper's, where the juxtaposition and selection of facts often create startling new meanings, have long been a favorite.

  • Cricket's breed, as half poodle, half Schnauzer: "shnoodle"
  • Current age, in people months: 10
  • Current age, in dog years: 5.83
  • Average number of times she wants out, per day, measured in doorside  yips: 42
  • Average number of times she wants in, per day, measured in door  scratches: 420
  • Percentage of the family's stuffed animals she thinks are dog  toys: 100
  • Number of minutes to completely unstuff a plush toy: >2
  • Average area the innards of a plush toy will cover, in square  feet: 144
  • Inventory of non-food items eaten this month: plush toys, food  wrappers, rope fetch toys, Qtips, bottle caps, toilet tissue,  a $5 bill, soap, green binding on living room carpet, orthotic  insoles, a wicker basket, Mare's left shoe
  • Number of times she's vomited, this month: 14
  • Number of times she's vomited after eating a bar of soap: 8
  • Number one item we all hope she never eats again: soap

Postscript--Best of the comments--from Robin:

"My cat once threw up in my dress shoes after I'd been out all night with my (now ex) boyfriend.  She was making a statement. Ignoring her for this man was as inappropriate as shoe vomit.  She was right."

March 29, 2003 in blockbusters, indices | Permalink | Comments (0)