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05/12/2003

Monday, Monday

A whole day wasted on depression and hiding from myself and my work.

I did the things I had to do: made child lunches, got kids off to carpool, did the 90-minute afternoon carpool loop, walked/fed the dogs, etc.

I didn't do any of the "should do's" — answer client email, read the passages that a group of us in my newsgroup are analyzing, continue tweaking of some online materials...

I think the bottleneck is with the client email. Not the clients. The clients are lovely people: interesting writers with good things to say. No, it's a certain assignment I used to think was really important, but which always leads to some unanswerable questions. Well, not unanswerable, exactly, I just don't like the answers. Giving them makes me feel like a fraud, even though it's not my fault some of this material is so confounding.

I'm in the midst of a materials shuffle for this (the Dramatica Basics) course anyway. An updated interface and a slightly different flow through the material is almost ready. (I've said this before, then found more stuff to tweak. It would probably help if I had lower standards and no aesthetic sensibilities whatsoever. I did please myself beyond all reason last week by teaching myself how to make a treeview menu for the course syllabus....)

In Dramatica's lexicon I am being very female-minded at the moment. (Thinking in intuitive widening-circle patterns instead of connect-the-dots logical patterns.) As a way of categorizing problem-solving, it's a bit reductive (well, more than a bit) but also descriptive. Because I do tend to work on everything at once, nudging it all along some sort of progression, so that when it does see the light of day everything is marvelously connected and lots of contingencies are already accounted for. The trouble is, it can take an awfully long time to nudge it all out where it can be seen by the light of day and in the meantime it can sit around in big scary piles of amorphous undone stuff.

However, I think I have talked myself into being able to tackle some tiny part of it. Whew. Someone was once nice enough to tell me my "wheel grinds slowly, but exceedingly fine." I hope that's true.

May 12, 2003 in dailiness, distractions | Permalink

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